One thing these movies all have in common is that they are all based on big name comic book titles. However, sooner or later, we’re going to run out of A-list comic characters and when that happens expect to see some real stinkers get released.
That’s when I predict we’ll finally get a movie featuring the Wonder Twins, the plucky alien twins with the blue monkey sidekick.
Their costumes were just as lame as their powers. Jayna (the girl) could turn into any animal and Zan (the boy) could turn into any form of H2O. This typically meant that whenever the Legion of Doom tried to take over the world (again) Jayna would turn into a pelican and Zan would turn into water and fill up her beak or something similar.
How this was supposed to fight evil, I’ll never understand.
In case you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t heard of Ted Williams—not the legendary Red Sox slugger—the formerly homeless man with an amazing radio voice who rocketed to fame last month, you really need to check out the video below.
I know we’re only in February, but Ted’s journey from the streets back to the sound booth is already in contention for the feel good story 2011.
So, in honor of his status as the ”Man with the Golden Voice“ I propose to share my very own list of seven other men who possess a golden voice.
Dale enjoyed a long stage and film career before he came into the work he was born to do. For the last 12 years, he has been the faithful narrator of JK Rowling’s Harry Potter series. These books are a wonderful read, but I submit that the experience is even sweeter when listening as Jim Dale voices the roles of Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, and friends (and enemies). Currently, you can download Dale reading Potter for your iPod on iTunes.
Zoinks! Casey Kasem lent his talents to portray the voracious, Shaggy—Scooby Doo’s sidekick. But, where Kasem’s talents shone through was as the host of American Top 40 which he hosted for about a quarter of a century. “Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.”
Without James Earl Jones’ deep bass voice, Darth Vader is just some tallm leather-clad creep with in a helmet wearing an electronic chestplate. With the voice, however, he’s the Dark Lord of the Sith—merciless, ruthless, and absolutely devoted to the Dark Side. Whether he’s explaining the Circle of Life or walking off into the corn fields of Iowa with dead major leaguers, James’ voice lends gravitas to each of the characters he plays.
Don LaFontaine (AKA the Movie Trailer Guy)You might not know the name, but once you hear the voice you’ll instantly recognize him from hundreds of movie trailers, commercials, and voiceovers. It’s easy to see why LaFontaine was nicknamed “Thunder Throat” and even “The Voice of God” as, more often than not, the trailers he recorded were better than the actual movies they were promoting thanks to Don’s trademarked “In a world where …” delivery.
For decades children and adults alike all over the world have been entertained by the likes of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Sylvester & Tweety Bird, Yosemite Sam, Foghorn Leghorn, Marvin the Martian, (and many, many more) all of whom were voiced by Mel Blanc—The Man with 1000 Voices.
In your opinion, who has a golden voice? Who did I miss? Sound off in the comments below.
And I have no plans to do so, either***. Why not? Read on below.
No Laurence Tureaud. The first thing I notice when I look over the Expendables cast is the distinct lack of mowhawks and gold chains. Bringing in Tureaud (AKA Mr. T) gives you an instant boost in both categories. If I was casting a movie full of 80′s action movie stars, how could I pass on Mr. T? Not only was he B. A. Baracus, a member of the completely expendable A-Team, but he went toe-to-toe with old Sly in Rocky III. Plus, he had his own cartoonand “I pity the foo’ who don’t eat [his] breakfast cereal”.
Image courtesy of Wikipedia
I’m willing to overlook his previous questionable choice of roles (Muppets from Space—yikes!, Mr. Nanny—whoops!, etc.) because of just how incredible the Hulkster is. I mean, if you’re gonna cast a wrestler in a movie there’s only one real choice (not Dwayne Johnson). I’m talking about the dude who body slammed all 540+ lbs. of Andre the Giant.
Plus, the Hulkster’s fu manchu style mustache is way more awesome than Stone Cold and his played–out goatee.
No Wesley Snipes. Right about now, Wes could really use some money and I’m not even sure he’s out of the clink yet. If The Expendables had come out earlier this summer it would have had to contend with blood-sucking teeny boppers in its quest for box office dominance. No one would have been better equipped to deal with this peril than the OG Vampire Slayer.
Image courtesy of The Internet (I have no idea where this thing came from)
No Pauly Shore. Is there an actor in all of Hollywood more expendable than “The Weasel”, himself? I thought not.
Image courtesy of rewriter42 photobucket
His purpose in the movie would be to try to prove that he could do anything all the big, tough guys can do. But, instead he’d accidentally lock himself in a bio-dome with Stephen Baldwin or Brendan Fraser which would blow up before the first scene was over.
Image courtesy of locationscout on flickr Chuck is more than just an action movie legend. The manisameme! His glaring absence from this movie is clearly an egregious omission and reason enough alone to boycott The Expendables. Image courtesy of me
While I love the idea of pairing all these aging (or are they just aged?) action stars together, I can’t help thinking of who else I would have cast in addition to, or in place of who actually appears in the film.
Who would you have cast in the Expendables? Sound off in the comments below.
*** Disclaimer: I’ve made a personal principle to avoid R-Rated movies.