“Remember kids, it’s not cool to kill on Christmas. But, if you must, make it that guy who sings Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”
— Johnny Cash as heard on No Toys for OJ.
Tag Archives: humor
18-34 No More
I used to be with it, but then they changed what “it” was. Now, what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s “it” seems weird and scary to me. | Abe (Grandpa) Simpson
Image via Wikipedia
As of today, no one cares what I think anymore. At least that’s what I’m told marketers and advertisers believe.
Yesterday was my last day as a member of the coveted 18-34 male demographic. So to make the most of it I spent all day skateboarding while playing Skyrim and Battlefield 3 on my Xbox 360. I watched UFC and MTV on TV. I was so social—I tweeted, I poked, I plussed, I stumbled, I tumbled, and I pressed. I only ate super spicy Cheetos and drank nothing, but Mountain Dew.
It was so, totally, extremely, radically, awesome! Except none of it happened.
To settle in to my new demographic group today I got up before the sun rose to read the Wall Street Journal. Later, I did the New York Times crossword puzzle while my double fiber oatmeal cooled enough for me to eat it. Then, I drove to the grocery store in my Buick where I wandered aimlessly and complained about the weather, the economy, and Obama to anyone who would listen. Afterwards, I met my wife for the early bird special at Denny’s. Before bed, I resolved to finally get into this Facebook thing I’ve been hearing the young folks talk about.
I’m especially glad that that wasn’t how I spent my birthday.
The truth of the matter is that I don’t think I fit into the boxes that marketers and advertisers want me to and I’m pretty sure most of you don’t either.
Do you agree or disagree? Sound off in the comments below.
Seven Things No One Should Buy from Sky Mall
There are two parts of each plane trip I absolutely loathe—take-offs and landings. No, it’s not that they make me airsick, I just hate not being able to use any of my electronic devices.
The only thing left for me to do during this period of time is to browse the current issue of Sky Mall. While scanning the catalog is a guilty pleasure of mine, no one on any account should ever buy anything Sky Mall. Ever.
A few months back I remember seeing a post on Freshly Pressed highlighting some of the miscellaneous oddities to be found in the pages of Sky Mall. I’d like to contribute my own list of seven things no one should buy from Sky Mall (or from anywhere for that matter).
Below are seven items I can’t believe are for sale on SkyMall along with my snide remarks about each.
- What does the Camo Slanket says about its owner? I’ve given up on life and I don’t want anyone to be able to find me.
- The Toilet Dog and Cat Water Bowl really perplexes me. I thought the idea was to train your pets NOT to drink from the loo?!?
- No, I’m sorry. No matter how you good you are at turning on and off the TV you and your Magic Wand Remote Control will not be getting into Hogwarts this term.
- The Brobdingnagian Sports Chair was made for the outdoorsman who wants to feel like a kid and look like an idiot again.
- Jumpin Jammers are the perfect nighttime apparel for the young lady who really, really wants to look like one of the Bratz Babyz.
- The product description for the Golden Pierogi claims that it’s destined to be “become a family heirloom”. For what family, may I ask, the Clampetts?
- I’m still of the opinion that giant inflatable animals do not increase car sales, but it looks like you can buy big blue inflatable gorillas (albeit sans yellow boxer shorts) from SkyMall.
With each release there are hundreds of ridiculous products no one needs and definitely should never buy. On the rare occasion that I find something that piques my interest the forces of reality drag me back to Earth.
What’s the looniest thing you’ve ever seen in Sky Mall? Did you buy it? Sound off in the comments below.
Best Quote for Talk Like a Pirate Day
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“Arrr! Math be hard! Let’s go shopping!” | The Ghost Pirate LeChuck®
Image via Wikipedia
In honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day, 2011 the fine folks at LucasArts and TellTale are offering some nice discounts on the entire Monkey Island Tales HD collection for iPad collection now through the 26th.
Weekly Photo Challenge: Faces
13 years ago today we made the best and most important decision of our lives and today, I’d like to commemorate it with a photo.
Yup, that’s the face I fell in love with—although highly distorted courtesy of PhotoBooth—all those years ago.
I’m convinced that PhotoBooth is responsible for selling more Macs than Steve Jobs.
13 years, three kids, and three continents later and I feel like the adventure is still just beginning. Each day is better than the one before.
After 13 years we’re still laughing with each other at each other. Happy Anniversary, Sugie, I love you! You’re why the sauce is so awesome.
Want to participate in the challenge? Head on over to The Daily Post and follow the instructions below.
1. Each week, [they] provide a theme for creative inspiration. You take photographs based on your interpretation of the theme, and post them on your blog anytime before the following Friday when the next photo theme will be announced.
2. To make it easy for others to check out your photos, title your blog post “Weekly Photo Challenge: (theme of the week)” and be sure to use a “postaday2011″ or “postaweek2011″ tag.
3. Subscribe to The Daily Post so that you don’t miss out on weekly challenge announcements. Sign up via the email subscription link in the sidebar or RSS.
Now, take a picture that captures this week’s theme and post a link to it in the comments below.
All images are from my flickr, unless otherwise noted.
Related articles
- Weekly Photo Challenge: Textured (slightlyinsightful.com)
- Weekly Photo Challenge: Old Fashioned (slightlyinsightful.com)
- Weekly Photo Challenge: Faces (dailypost.wordpress.com)
Caring or Creepy?
Image
Does this daycare sign make you sad or creep you out?
The wife and I agree on most things, but we’re torn on this one issue. I think it’s disturbing(ly funny) and she disagrees.
So, which is it, caring or creepy? Sound off in the comments below.
All images are from my flickr, unless otherwise noted.
Spoken Like a True Texican
Image via Wikipedia
As a native Angelino and hispanohablante I die inside a little whenever I hear one of my Texan family members, friends, or co-workers mangle the Spanish language I love.
Really, given Texas’ proximity to Mexico and the large number of people of Mexican descent living there you’d think they’d be a little better at pronouncing things. If you thought that, however, you’d be disappointed.
I won’t beleaguer the point further, but living in Houston there are three names in particular that make me cringe whenever I hear them.
San Antonio
Spurs fans are the worst. I don’t know how supportive they are of their team, but they can’t even pronounce the name of the city they live in correctly. You don’t say San Antone, it’s San An-tone-ee-oh.
San Jacinto
I usually hear this one in conjunction with the College of the same name. It’s a shame that an institute of higher learning can’t even be bothered to teach their students how to say their name correctly. It’s not San Jasinna and especially not San Jack. If you must say it, it’s San Ha-seen-toe.
San Felipe
Some of the best and biggest companies in the world have their offices on San Felipe Street in Houston. Apparently, you don’t need to be able to say the name in order to work there. The proceeding examples are bad, but neither drives me up the wall quite like San Phillippy. Please, say it with me—San Fay-lee-pay.
What words or names drive you crazy when you hear them butchered verbally? Sound off in the comments below.
